Alistair Meditation Mindblog – 2a

AudioBoo / Alistair Meditation Mindboo – 2

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I’ve been meditating for nearly two years, and spent a lot of time meditating on my breath. This evening the new course went back to the breath, and I noticed just how long I’ve been thinking about breathing rather than just breathing. It’s the difference between doing and being – the entire point of mindfulness practice. It takes me about 5 minutes or so to realise each time that being mindful of my breath doesn’t involve doing anything, but I’m so wedded to my thinking mind that I always start that way. Only when I catch myself wondering if I’m doing it properly do I invariably realise that this isn’t mindfulness, and I stop doing and instead just rest with my breath. This has only been coming out this last week and this evening was a great reminder of how much has started to come together for me in mindfulness practice. After that every time the mind wanders off, going back to resting with the breath feels like returning to an old friend. In fact this evening reminded me of my practice at home last Tuesday – the organism which is me just seemed so complicated and absurd that it was funny. How strange, not to be taking myself so seriously all the time. But it’s an alternative, when not so tightly fastened to having to do all the time.

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